Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Penis Duck

Hello. The following story was written in an email to my friend. 

I just came home from watching the move Inside Out. As a movie review: it was amazing. Brilliant. Touching. It made me cry, surprisingly. I rarely cry at movies, but this one got me a couple of times. I highly recommend that you watch it some time. 
I was seeing the movie with my buds, Amy and Rosa. After the movie ended, I do this tradition in which I have everyone take pictures in the photobooth, and then I try my hand at this claw machine game where you win rubber duckies.
So, upon approaching the machine, I took a look at what ducks I could win. This one duck design stood out to me. It was a duck shaped like a dalmatian- only.... the spots didn't exactly look like perfect dots. It sorta... Anyway, we called it the "Penis Duck".
I put in my dollar, and Rosa's nudging me, "GET THE PENIS DUCK." I'm laughing, shaking my head, going, "No, no, no I don't- I can't." 
"So which one are you gonna try to get? Ohh, look there's sock monkey ones."
I'm just moving the joystick randomly, trying to think. "Oh, man. I don't know which one I want." Suddenly, the claw starts going down without my permission. "AW, MAN. NO!" I yelled. I followed the claw with my eyes, and I basically screamed when I saw what I picked up. 
"Oh my god. OH MY GOD," I'm gripping onto Rosa's shoulder, in disbelief.
"No WAY," Rosa says between her bouts of laughter. I pull out the duck the claw machine picked out for me, and....



​I got it. I got the Penis Duck. I held up the duck to Rosa (Amy was in the bathroom, I should mention), and I said through my laughter, "IT MUST'VE BEEN DESTINY."

Not too long after that, Rosa's dad came around to take Rosa home. I rode with Amy. Walking to Amy's car, we saw a woman with a really rad convertible. Like that thing, when putting the roof down, looked like it came from the Transformers. We loudly complimented her car, so she could hear us. "WOAH, THAT THING IS AMAZING!" "IT'S LIKE A TRANSFORMER" "THE FUTURE IS NOW, OH MY GOD."

Amy & I got into the car, and Amy started driving us home. At a stop light, Transformer lady was stopped right next us. Our windows were rolled all the way down, and Amy grabbed this AUX chord, and was like, "QUICK JESS, PLAY THE TRANSFORMER THEME SONG ON YOUR PHONE!!!" I did it, and while the theme blasted, we both looked expectantly at the transformer lady, but she was on her phone and paid no mind to the two teenagers in the car blasting obnoxiously loud music. Shame. 
Once that song ended, I played the Avengers theme, because who doesn't love the Avengers, honestly? When that song ended, I was asked Amy, "Oh, what song should I play next?" 
"Umm.... Star Spangled Man With A Plan." [Hear the song here] (i may or may not have made this song my ringtone *cough*)
"YES."
I passionately sang along, WHO WILL CAMPAIGN DOOR TO DOOR FOR AMERICA? CARRY THE FLAG, SHORE TO SHORE, FOR AMERICA? FROM HOBOKEN TO SPOKANE! THE STARRRR SPANGLED MAANNNN WITH A PLANNNNNNN!
Once that song ended, I was sorta short on what to play next. Scrolling through the songs on my phone, I found an all american anthem to save the say. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson. Rolling through my neighborhood, now, the two of us sang with all our hearts and souls to this song. We turned heads. Little kids waved at us. It was amazing. 


And thus ends my night. :)

-----

Thanks for reading.
-Jess

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I'VE BEEN HOOKED ON A FEELING - Day 5

Hello! A continuation of my tales of my summer vacation. The last day was Jona's last full day spent in California with Allyza and I.  In the morning, Jona's family all ate breakfast, and then they were off. She exchanged hugs with Allyza, and I told her that I'd see her at Sid's birthday party, being held in a few weeks from then back in New Jersey. 
After they had left, the party left went out to eat lunch at some Chinese-ish restaurant. It wasn't Chinese food, but I can't remember what it was. 
It was August 1st, and Guardians of the Galaxy has premiered just that day. AJ and I shared our desire to go watch it, and Allyza was in a movie mood. While at the restaurant, I asked my dad if we could go to the movies, and he agreed! Allyza looked up some movie times, and it was a done deal. My sister got a text from Joe, and he claimed that he sad Nick Jonas. We were very skeptical, although... it was the LAX... it wasn't entirely impossible. We looked up if Nick Jonas had any shows going on in New Jersey, and nothing with Nick showed up, however, Kevin Jonas's name did pop up a bit the results. We settled with figuring that Joe was lying, because that reasoning wasn't against his character. Later that day, we did find out from Jona, a more trust worthy source, that they didn't see Nick Jonas. It was Kevin Jonas. Allyza and I fangirled for Jona's luck. 
After we finished eating, my sister, Allyza, AJ and I went to watch Guardians of the Galaxy, and ah it was amazing. Peter's origin story was kinda strange. His mother dies (I almost cried) and he gets abducted by aliens. Okay. Overall,  thought that the soundtrack was amazing. Heck yeah, 70's music! I'm kind of glad that Gamora and Peter didn't get together. That'd be cliche. Like of COURSE they'd get together. It's so typical that romance would be a subplot of the movie. THank goodness though that that wasn't the case for this movie. My favorite character of the movie was, hands down, Groot. I love that tree. My heat melts for the tree. 
So essentially, the movie was about a bunch of a-holes getting together, and they save the world with the power of friendship, and a dance competition. Seriously, it's a great movie. I'm excited to see what's in store for the future with this gang. 

Back at Allyza's house, me and her were just lounging in her bedroom, doing our own things, when we notice a fly. Oh, it was so funny. I tried to kill the beast. I tried throwing a pillow at it, missed, while Allyza held my sister's Shamu stuffed animal, waving it around, trying it hit it. My sister came in, hearing the ruckus, and made Allyza saying that that fly was 'juicy' and using her Shamu is not cool. I used my usual tactic, I opened her window blinds, enticing the fly towards the light. When it went to the window, I tried to shut the blinds as quickly as possible (although it kept getting stuck open), and then I SMASHED THE BLINDS WITH THE PILLOW. I did manage to get it, and you could tell because there was a LARGE shadow cast from the guts of the fly stuck to the blinds. Bleh. "See, I told you it was juicy! And you tried to use Shamu?" 
We just left the guts there. Just pretended that it didn't happen.
Later that night, on TV, there was a guy who taught how to efficiently kill a household fly. "Utilize the hold... and flick."

And that ends day 5! The time in California is winding down.
Thanks for reading!
-Jess

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THE TITANIC SUNK MY HEART UUAHGHGHHGOID

HELLO. I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE TITANIC. IT WAS SUCH A LOVELY MOVIE, I DO REALLY LIKE IT IN ALL OF IT'S ARTISTIC BEAUTY AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MOVIE DID TO ME? BY THE END OF IT, I WAS CURLED UP IN FETAL POSITION, CRYING AND CRYING AND CRYING. 
MOVIES DO NOT OFTEN MAKE ME CRY. THE FAULT IN OUR STARS DID NOT MAKE ME CRY. BUT THIS BLASTED MOVIE. THIS MOVIE, WITH IT'S FORESHADOWING, AND ART REFERENCES. AWFUL.
IN THE BEGINNING, WHEN ROSE WAS LOOKING AT PAINTINGS, I NOTICED THEY WERE PICASSO. I WAS PROUD THAT I'VE RECOGNIZED IT'S STYLE. ART HISTORY HAS SERVED ME WELL. AND THEN THEY MENTIONED A MONET PAINTING. BEAUTIFUL, I LOVE HIS LILY PAD PAINTINGS, THEY ARE SO CALM AND FABULOUS. AND THEN LATER IN THE MOVIE, WHEN THEY ARE HIDING AWAY, IN THE CAR, JACK JOKINGLY ASKS "WHERE TO, MISS?" AND THEN ROSE REPLIES "TO THE STARS." AT THAT PART, MY ART HISTORY BRAIN PINGED AND WAS LIKE 'OH, VINCENT VAN GOGH SAID THAT THE ONLY WAY TO REACH THE STARS WAS THROUGH DEATH.' AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT I JUST THOUGHT. THE ONLY WAY TO THE STARS WAS THROUGH DEATH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? JACK DIES. I LITERALLY GASPED IN HORROR AT THAT REALIZATION. 
THE FIRST TIME I CRIED WAS WHEN THE STRING QUARTET OR WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED WERE LIKE "OKAY, GUESS IT'S TIME TO STOP PLAYING" AND THREE WALK AWAY, BUT THE ONE STAYS AND JUST RESUMES PLAYING. AND THEN THE OTHER THREE STOP, AND JOIN HIM. AND THEN THEY PLAY A SAD SONG AS THE WINDOWS OF THE SHIP SHATTERED, FLOODING WATER INTO IT, KILLING SO MANY PEOPLE. 
THE SECOND TIME I CRIED WAS WHEN THE BOATS CAME BACK TO FIND SURVIVORS, AND JACK WAS ALREADY DEAD. AND HE DIED HOLDING ONTO ROSE'S HAND. OH MY GOD. 
THE THIRD TIME I CRIED WAS THE ENDING. ELDERLY ROSE WAS LAYING IN HER BED, AND I SUPPOSE DIED. SHE DIED WARM AND OLD IN HER BED, AFTER HAVING BABIES. JUST AS SHE PROMISED TO JACK. AND HER LITTLE 'HEAVEN' WAS BACK ON THE TITANIC. YOUNG. THE PLACE FILLED WITH THE PEOPLE WE SAW DIE JUST HALF AN HOUR EARLIER.  AND JACK IS WAITING FOR HER AT THE CLOCK, JUST AS HE DID THE NIGHT THEY FIRST HAD DINNER TOGETHER. AND THEY WERE REUNITED. DEAD, BUT REUNITED. 
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, I BURST INTO TEARS.
I TOOK A POST-TITANIC SELFIE:

THANK YOU FOR READING.
-JESS

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THE FAULT IN OUR STARS, DEAR BRUTUS

Hello. Today was the premiere of the long awaited movie 'The Fault In Our Stars'. And I just watched it. I met up with Bailey, Rosa, and Amy at the theaters, intending on watching the 7:15 showing. I asked if we could go earlier, like 6:30 to avoid having the show sold out. Guess what. It was sold out. So, Bailey and Amy went on to watch the 7:15 showing, while Rosa and I were left to see the 7:30 one. 
The movie itself was fabulous. It was so good! Some parts were cut out, which was understandable. It made me laugh, it made me want to cry, all the romancy-schmancy stuff sort of made me wanna puke a little. So overall, it had the makings of a fantastic movie. Around the end, I could hear people crying. I, myself, didn't cry, because I'm basically already dead inside, hahaha jk. Rosa teared up a little bit. 
At the end, Rosa and I stayed back to see if there would be an extra scene, but we both really needed to pee, so we left. 
Back in the lobby, Bailey was sitting on the ground, her eyes red from sobbing so hard. She told us that she was crying so hard that she couldn't even support her own head, and was leaning on Amy. Poor Bailey. 
With that, Rosa's mom was already waiting in the parking lot to bring Rosa, Amy, and Bailey to Bailey's house for a sleepover. I, unfortunately, couldn't attend the sleepover because my mom wouldn't let me. :P So, I stood/sat on the steps in front of the movie theater, and waited for my dad to pick me up. 
By this time, it was basically 10pm already. It was dark. And my dad asked if I wanted to drive. I was kind of nervous, because... this would be my first time driving in the nighttime, and I wasn't exactly a pro at driving during the day. I was.... mediocre at best. Better than Augustus Waters, at least. I need to work on slowing down when turning.  I almost did okay until I was driving up my road. There are no lanes on the street I live on. Ahead, I see a car coming in my direction. To my right, there is a parked car. I try to rear more right, but I was cutting close to the parked car, and my dad told me to be careful not to hit said car, so with that, I swerved to the left, buT THE CAR IN FRONT OF ME WAS, LIKE, RIGHT THERE, and I nearly crashed into that car. Their car gave out a loud, long hoonnnnnkkkkkkkk, while my dad reached over, grabbed the wheel, and steered for me. Oh God. He then yelled at me to be careful, and told me in that situation, SLOW THE HECK DOWN, OR JUST STOP, AND LET THEM PASS. That wasn't verbatim, but... yeah. That was the jist of that lesson. So note to self: 1) Slow down. 2) Slow down. 3) Slow down.

Thanks for reading.
-Jess

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I WATCHED DIVERGENT

Hello. So, I just watched the movie Divergent with friends Amy, Rosa, and Jason.
Do not worry about spoilers. 
Anyway, the movie was fabulous. Seriously, though, the movie was great. It also felt like a really good length for the story. I didn't feel like it was too short or dragged on for too long, which I think is important, because I tend to get antsy when watching long movies. There were a lot of powerful scenes as well. 

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Summer

Hello. I just finished watching (500) Days of Summer. And here be my thoughts. Spoilers ahead. 

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STARSHIP USS ENTERPRISE NCC 1701

Hello.
Oh my goodness. I spent nearly 4 hours working on this nightmare. 

THIS THING WAS A NIGHTMARE TO CREATE. LEGOS HURT THE FINGERS AND HANDS AND THERE ARE SO MANY PIECES AND THEN IT STARTS FALLING APART, AND THEN IT'S A NIGHTMARE.
On the other hand, I now have a model of the Enterprise to keep as my own.  :D
Thanks for reading.
-Jess

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Such Strange Dreams: The One With A Lot Of ?????

Hello. This week, I've had the habit of taking extremely long naps. Yesterday, in a four hour nap, I had a really awesome dream. 
Not much is remembered, but recently, Bailey and I have been watching a lot of movies. In my dream, we were watching the movie, only, it wasn't really a movie... we were in the events of a made up movie. I recall the two of us dealing with some crazy child (much like the kids from the horror movie, Mama) and the po-po comes after the three of us. Like, we were trying to protect the poor kid who ran through the forest to stay hidden, and the police wanted him or something. Something something, Bailey and I are on a boat... without the kid? I'm gonna guess that after trying to help the kid, we're being chased down and needed a way out. 
Arriving at some dock in a different country of America, the two of us need to sneak onto the dock.
The two of us go hang out at a bar-arcade like place. The room was pretty large, with log-like walls. Sort of like a cabin. The room was light and airy. It was a nice hang out. The bar was managed by my biology teacher in my real life school, which didn't surprise me for some reason. 
Then that portion of the dream ended.

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Movie December: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

Hello. Another installment of Movie November.... In December.... About a movie that didn't premiere in November. Oh well...
Okie dokie, so I watched The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug with 2 friends and a brother. They go by the names of Bailey and Rosa and RJ. It was a wonderful movie. I will not spoil. It was practically 3 hours long, and seriously, I would be 100% willing to sit and watch 5 hours of this movie if it included the ending of the book. Which it DIDN'T BECAUSE CLIFFHANGER. Other than that, yes very good movie. A+. Was entertained throughout the entire thing. 


-Jess

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MOVIE NOVEMBER: The First Installment of Probably a Few

Hello. So as you may or may not be aware, November is basically the prime time for new movie releases this year. First to be checked off the list was Thor 2. 

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Monty Python And The Holy Grail is the Best Movie To Ever Exist

Hello. October is coming to an end. Much sad.
So, anyway, my good friends, Amy and Rosa came over my house and we hung out.
Rosa was in the cute wolf costume and Amy was Cecil-ized. She had sharpie tattoos, it was so cool looking, man. I was just dressed in my pjs... ANYWAY!
We started off listening to many musics. We also videoed our listening of music. It's very obvious that we are teenagers. Like, how teens act? That is seriously how we come off as. It's so weird. Because you think, "No, that's not me." But then... it is you. Everyone always thinks they're the 1% but I can assure you 99% of the time they are not. 
After that fun nonsense, we got to watching a movie. My all time favorite movie. It is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The next school play, I believe is Spamalot, which I think is based off of this wonderful, wonderful film. Like seriously, it is my favorite movie. Of all the movies I have watched, this is definitely my favorite. Seriously. In dedication to me, watch this movie
While watching this, we all agreed that it is vital that we all audition for the Spamalot play. I am so pumped. I really hope I get a part. I really want to be a part of this. Really.
After finishing the movie, my friends departed.
Today was just a fun time with friends. I was very happy to hang out with Rosa and Amy again. This needs to happen more often. And we plan on it to happen more often.
Thanks for reading.
-Jess

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All You Gotta Do Is Dream (the one with the inspirational movie)

Hello. So typically, I do not receive dreams. But you know what new thing is happening to me? I've been getting dreams! But they are so weird. I guess that's an okay thing. But I just woke up from nap, where in the dream, I starred in an extremely inspirational movie where I was curling my hair perfectly while on the phone with someone, saying inspirational words that I don't remember, and then out of frustration of getting my hair perfectly curled, and the constant burning of hair, I started burning post-it notes with my hair curler. Only it wouldn't burn. It would just appear wet, with the ink on it blend a little. And then on the clouds (because it has been very cloudy this week) was a large projection of the TARDIS and everyone in town hailed it. And that was the end of that dream.
Interesting. I know.
I suddenly have an urge to study up on the psychology of dreams. I think I will proceed in doing just that.
-Jess

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