This week was not the best. In fact, it was mainly exhausting.
Last Saturday, November 29, 2014, Brock, the cute little birdie I've had since 2009... passed away. It's... heartbreaking, honestly. You know how you're not supposed to pick favorites between your kids? Well, out of Brock, Brooke, and Ellie... Brock was always my favorite.
Anyway, the last full night he was around, he was very ill. Like he was visibly more sick than he had been for the past couple of weeks. I just thought it was a thing that'd pass when I began noticing Brock being less active and tired. Then he started shedding a lot of feathers. Like, the top of his head had a bald spot, and the feathers around it were clumped together. Not sure what that was about.
He was always sleeping or eating. He didn't sing as much.
On that last night, his flying didn't look to good either. He'd fly lower than normal, and he struggled flying for a short period of time. That was concerning. I knew something was very wrong when I went to pet him, and he didn't jump away, or put his foot on my finger to keep me from touching him. He just... accepted it. He stood on my hand, and didn't bother to move. The poor thing.
My dad and I did the best we could to help keep him warm. His feathers were all poofed up. Looking at him wrapped up in a fluffy sock... I sort of sensed that his story would end soon. I pushed those thoughts away, though.
Eventually, Brock to favor of being nestled near my neck in the little pouch of my sweater. I laid in my bed, watching youtube videos on my phone for a while as he slept cuddled up against my neck. I took pictures of this, because he'd never done this before. I sent the pics to my friends to share the moment. When I was tired to the point that I wanted to sleep, I wasn't sure what to do. I worried that if I just let myself fall asleep with Brock cuddled up with me, I might turn over in my sleep and crush his tiny body. Not wanting that, I brought Brock back downstairs near his cage and wrapped him up in his warm sock again. I wished him goodnight and went to bed.
Around 6AM, I was half asleep, and heard someone walk into my room, and then leave.
Around 9AM, I woke up fully and brushed my teeth. I walked out of the bathroom, and my mom calls from her bedroom, "Jess, did you go downstairs yet?"
My immediate thought was, 'Oh no. He's dead'.
I ran down the stairs and look at where I've left Brock on the table. He's not there. I look in the cage, and I see Brock in the sock as my dad and I have wrapped him the night before. He didn't look much different. His feathers were still fluffy. His eyes were open though, a blank, dead look in them.
I croaked, "Brock? Brock!"
My voice cracked as I reached and pet my bird's feathers. I stood there for a moment, staring at him, frozen. My mind comprehending what I'm looking at. What had happened. Brock died. My sweet Brock. Gone. As the tears swelled in my eyes, I ran into my room and just sobbed.
To my friends who I sent the pics of us cuddling together the night before, I told them the sad news, and I ruined their fun time together. They were very supportive for me, so I'm thankful for that.
Ugh, I just...
I cried for maybe fifteen minutes.
It didn't really hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe because I saw it coming? I'm just... really sad.
All week during school, I'd just be walking in the halls, and an "I miss Brock" would spring up into my brain.
And I do miss him. I miss his fluffy feathers, his bad singing... I really wanted more of that cuddling to happen. Ever since I got Brock and Brooke back in 2009, all I wanted was a bird who'd do exactly what Brock did the night before he died. So... at least I got that type of 'closure' from him before he left.
This first week of December, 2014.... not off to a great start.
But for real, I never expected Brock to be gone by now. I thought he'd have at least a couple years left in him. Looks like I thought wrong.
Thanks for reading.
-Jess
I am so sorry about Brock. I remember a few years back that I once asked to actually talk to him on the phone remember? heh.. but hey you two had the best of times. I'm sorry to hear the news a bit late but still. I'm happy that you got closure though and Brock is not in pain anymore. Rest Well.
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